a Phd for nothing
by originalgaijin
Summary: Penny teaches Sheldon a lesson or two


Copyright to CBS and Chuck Lorre

this is my first attempt at both BBT and at writing something humorous. and no beta so your warned enjoy

Round 1

Penny awoke on a Saturday morning tucked pleasantly under Leonard's arm in his bed. Well as pleasant as the closing shift from hell followed by very amorous activities and a good night sleep could be. Only her need for caffeine had ruined the morning, that and it was 530 in the morning on a Saturday.

Penny carefully slipped out from Leonard's hold and found his dress shirt from the day before tossed on the floor by the corner of the bed along with the rest of there collective clothes. Slipping it on she made her way to the bedroom door only pausing to take a quick look back at what her life had become and smile.

Sliding silently into the kitchen she found the stillness a nice brake from the usual sounds of arguments over comic books and video games being played till 2 in the morning. She fiddled with the coffee maker then returned to gazing into the room. She noticed something sitting on the computer table harmlessly sitting there. A flash of pure evil came to her under functioning caffeine-deprived brain. She smiled and proceeded to the table then to the….

She finished her work in time to savor fresh hot coffee. After a few sips she returned to gazing at the living room. Sheldon had been right her place was a disaster area compared to this. She pondered how she could convince Leonard to help her clean? She looked down at herself dressed in nothing but his dress shirt and the answer came quickly with a satisfied smirk.

"Good morning Penny" Well her comes the other problem she though while smiling back at Sheldon.

"Good morning Sheldon" She watched him pull down a box of cereal and fix himself breakfast before making his way to his spot on the couch. As Sheldon began to sit….

"Oh drat" Penny exclaimed from the end of the kitchen counter she had timed her outburst to near perfection.

"What?" Sheldon screeched as a full to the brim bowl almost emptied its self unto his new vintage the Flash T shirt. She frowned when the cereal remained in the bowl and not on Sheldon.

"Oh I ripped some of the buttons off of Leonard's shirt last night" She smiled, as the thoughts of other of coming home to Leonard had been exactly what she needed.

"Well since I'm sure it was lost during your amorous activities from last night that I was again forced to listen to. I assume he won't be that mad at all since the alternative is Heaven forbid you two have your amorous activities in your apartment. I know it's difficult Penny for you to hold back your primal bodily urges long enough to cross the hall" Sheldon gave her a look of something equivalent to middle distain.

"Well maybe you should try it sometime" Came out a little louder then she had hoped from behind her coffee mug as she took another swig.

"What sex with either you or Leonard. NO. I would par take it that with anyone of a lesser mind then I, where would the stimulation come from?" He gave her that damn deadpan as a matter of fact look of superiority. Penny shook off any mental images that attempted to even remotely start to form. Penny was done with Sheldon for this morning. "Enjoy Dr. Who Sheldon" She turned and took a few steps into the hall.

"Oh I will" came out before

'"

"My whoopee cushion! who put it under my seat!"

Penny smiled and rounded the corner back to Leonard's room with a very satisfied smile

Round 2

Leonard and Penny sat patiently in there respective chairs in the living room as Raj, Howard and Sheldon went into there ninth round of Rock, paper scissors lizard spock. What they were fighting over was the prized comic books from each of their respective collections, and a few that Leonard had lost in an early attempt to settle this battle at lunch. There dinner sat there on the coffee smelling delicious and getting cold. Penny had had enough.

"Sheldon sweetie" came out as sweetly as she could manage with her growing irritation to the entire situation.

"What Penny I'm busy" He huffed out of frustration over his lack of ability to win against the likes of Koothrapoly and Wolowitz.

"I know sweetie but I want in" She had walked to the head of the coffee table so be a part of the battle.

"In on what?" came perplexed from Sheldon as the rest of they assembled boys stared at her "What could you possibly want with the prized comic books from our collections" His mind couldn't fathom any logical reason why Penny would want there prized comic books.

"Well I don't I'll figure that out after I win them" She stared Sheldon as a direct challenge

"What do you have that I could possibly want?" Sheldon looked confused and annoyed that anyone like Penny could possible believe that they could beat him at a game he had created it defied the know laws of physics.

"All the dumplings". She motioned toward the food that had become an after thought to the comics that hung in the balance.

"hmmm since you have no chance of winning I accept" Sheldon gave Penny last look of confusion.

rock paper scissors lizard spock

As had gone before three hands shot out the Vulcan sign but one smaller tan hand stuck out Lizard.

"Sheldon?" Leonard asked knowing they answer, "doesn't Lizard poison Spock?" He asked mockingly while taking in the sight of a defeated Sheldon Cooper.

"What, how, How could be beaten by her I have a PhD and she's never even been employee of the month" Sheldon whined as Penny grinned and dug into the bags of Chinese food.

"While normally I'd be mad at that comment I just beat the great Sheldon Cooper at this own game." Penny stood proudly at the head of the coffee table with Leonard beaming with pride at her and Raj and Howard ready to worship at her feet and do her bidding. "Leonard sweetie will you take MY winnings to your room while we have dinner?"

Leonard stood dutifully and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before taking away the stack on comics to his room. Sheldon just turned red a rather pleasing shade of red and glared at Penny as she dug into the still warm dumplings.


End file.
